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This is not your typical fairy tale. Once upon a time you struck up a conversation with a total stranger on an internet dating site. You went out a few times, think each other is wonderful and then, seemingly without warning, he or she is parking their toothbrush in your bathroom and expressing worry because you didn’t call last night.

Say what? This is decidedly not fairy tale material. What is IS is a real life scenario. So what can you do when the person you’re seeing is moving too quickly for comfort. How do you slow a relationship down without ending it?

1. Don’t delay it, just say it

I admit, this one is rather obvious. Just come right out with it. Unfortunately, it seems that most people I know would rather have root canal without the benefit of anesthetic than confront this problem, or any other, head on.

There is the possibility that your new sweetie isn’t moving crazy fast; they’re just so into you and excited about the whole thing that they were swept up in the moment and got carried away A quick talk, in a non accusatory way, should jolt them back to reality and the recognition that the two of you are not on the same page.

2. Be only as available as you are

As much as they might feel boxed in, some people will just keep up with the pace being set by the other person. They want to be nice and avoid rocking the boat.

Other times, someone will dig the person they’re dating so much that they can temporarily ignore that the actual relationship isn’t fitting their lifestyle or comfort boundaries at all.

So if you want to slow things down to your comfort level, you need to make yourself unavailable at times. If you have to be at work early tomorrow morning, then make it clear you won’t be spending any time together tonight.

If your new significant other tries to invite him or herself out on nights with friends, tell him or her that eventually, that will be cool but for right now, you want to let things incubate in private between you two for a while.

When they ask about that shelf in your closet or the key to your front door, and you’re not ready for that, try to think of a smaller step that you are okay with. Unless you have the gift of the gab, a flat out no to these relationship yardsticks can be misinterpreted by your sweetie that you have no intention of ever going there. Offering up an alternative will leave you both happy. If not, see step 1.

This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands more professional dating articles. You can get a unique content version of this article from the Uber Article Directory.

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