You’re The Problem In The Relationship When…
Astrid Engels | January 11, 2010Once you get past the carefree salad days of a relationship, things have a way of getting slightly more, um, real. Real problems, days when you look really unattractive, real neuroses and dangerous habits.
I’m not talking about drinking and driving. I mean the unsafe brain quirks and thought patterns that slowly chip away at an otherwise perfectly healthy relationship. I know, you’re thinking, “OMG, yes, my boyfriend/girlfriend totally has issues like that and I’m, like, this close to dumping his/her sorry butt!”
But what if (brace yourself) the problem is truly in your head? Read on for two common symptoms to watch for that the issues in your relationship are coming from your end:
Sign #1 – You keep score
You should’ve chosen a career as a scorekeeper because you keep track of everything you and your partner do in terms of time and energy to the relationship and each other and when it gets done. Everything from who cleans up to visits to family and friends, it all gets tallied.
Every relationship is going to experience some imbalances from time to time. But making mental notes about who does what and when and using those notes to stoke your anger and resentment means that the problem is you and your attitude.
Your relationship won’t stand a chance if you approach it with this kind of pencil toting, critical outlook, looking for reasons to feel indignant. It’s no wonder you’re always angry and that your partner feels perpetually judged.
Sign #2 – You make assumptions
We all know one part of a couple that thinks he or she knows their partner better than the partner knows themselves! They think they can read the subtext of every text message, interpret every facial expression and predict their partner’s every move, every wish and every desire without ever having to ask.
People hate to have aspects of their personality cast in stone. If the person you are dating believes you no longer listen to them because you think you already know everything there is to know, the annoyance and frustration they feel, and the misunderstandings it will cause will inevitably lead the relationship to break down.
This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating posts. Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service













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