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I like to consider myself a fairly independent person. Do I want my manfriend to make me soup when I’m gross-flu-death girl? Definitely. Do I want him to pay my rent for me? Certainly not.

That said, I’ve also found myself in a relationship where we ended up having joint finances before we even sat down to think about it. He had lost his job and it just seemed like the loving and logical thing to help him out until he found something else. Other times couples go through the “you pay for this and I’ll pay you back” so often that the balance sheet becomes a bit blurry. And before you know it you’re sharing a bank account.

That’s not always a bad thing; if you’re one of those blessedly blissful couples who are so communally minded that you never have to deal with issues like entitlement, mistrust or codependence. But most of us are human. If you want your relationship to survive your financial issues, it’s important to follow rules of financial harmony.

Take stock of your spending

There are lots of ways to spend your money, and we often do so without really understanding where the money goes. Start by having each of you make a list. Do this separately. Include all your regular expenses like rent or mortgage payments, heat, hydro, your car, and insurance premiums.

You should also include what you think you spend every month on shopping and going out. If there are large ticket items that you want to buy, like a new mountain bike, or season’s tickets for baseball, include them too.

Make it a routine conversation

Because talking about money can be incredibly stressful a lot of couples simply avoid talking about it altogether. This is akin to burying your head in the sand; the more you avoid the subject, the more of a sore point it will become. So both of you; get over it.

Frequent conversations about money will put the subject in the realm of a common topic instead of something you dread to bring up. And common topics of conversation are rarely filled with worry and pressure.

Go over lists together

When you’ve made the decision to set up housekeeping together you need to go over the list of expenses you each made. Decide which ones are joint expenses (that would be things like rent and utilities) and which ones are individual, or personal, expenses (shoes and clothing). It’s more difficult than it sounds and some of the expenses on each of your lists will bear discussing. Is his beer club membership a shared expense, or a personal one?

Make a fresh start

With a new joint bank account. This is the place from which you’ll pay the expenses you decided were group-oriented, and where you can save up for things you both want, like that trip to Peru. Even in the most financially interwoven relationships, each person should absolutely keep his or her own bank account, whether for shopping, buying your sweetie presents, donating to charities that he doesn’t give a darn about, or hitting the road if things don’t work out.

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You may have welcomed online dating with open arms, but you have remained wary of the granddaddy of courtship; the blind date. Some people confuse the two, but with internet dating you can actually end up getting to know quite a bit about someone before you actually meet in person. As opposed to, say, being setup on a blind date by your neighbor who has this absolutely wonder nephew; need I say more?

But as far as actual blind dating goes, it seems that a lot of people are still really against it; they think no one knows themselves as well as they do, so why should anyone else be finding potential matches for them? Well, here are the reasons why:

1. You have no time

With all the time and energy you spend on your career, your friends, taking care of yourself and perhaps children, plus trying to squeeze in time to find a date, do yourself a favor and unload some of that responsibility. In particular, finding someone to date.

You know your friends and family are just itching to get their teeth into this one, so let them. Let go of some of that control and have them set you up. Sure, it could be a bad date, but it also could be the start of something wonderful. When all is said and done, it’s just a date.

2. Should it work out

you’ll have a really interesting “how we met” story to tell everyone. Blind date stories are always super romantic; and who doesn’t love a good romance?

3. Our friends know us really well

Frequently our friends know us even better than we know ourselves. Really! This part is crucial when you find yourself dating the wrong person, over and over again. It’s a frustrating cycle to break on your own so why not let your friends give it a shot? You might just be pleasantly surprised at who they come up with.

4. It’s practically risk free

Any bad date is a downer regardless of who you happen to go out with. The advantage of a blind date gone wrong is that you never have to see this person again. Which is more than can be said for dating a co-worker or that cute gal that lives upstairs. Blind dating takes the everyday out of your dating life, giving you some breathing room.

5. Opens you up

Once you start making it okay for yourself to accept blind date suggestions from people, suddenly you have the potential to have dates coming in from all over the place: co-workers, family members, etc. That’s a way more broad-reaching net than just trying to do it yourself.

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Internet dating veterans love online dating for a number of reasons not the least of which is the sheer number of singles on dating sites. That first face to face though can be a bit nerve wracking. But being the experienced dater that you are, you know how to put a brave face on. So what do you do if your date is not quite so savvy?

The fact that your date is nervous can be both charming and frustrating. It’s clear that even though he or she is happy to finally meet you, it’s equally clear that he or she is finding the whole thing a bit overwhelming and intimidating. Which isn’t surprising because you are, after all, totally awesome. But you want them to be relaxed because all those nerves are going to get in the way of getting to know each other.

The best way to approach this is in a caring and sympathetic manner. Try acknowledging that you sense they’re nervousness and admit that you feel the same. Even if you don’t, this little white lie can work wonders in putting your date at ease. Follow this up with the suggestion that you put these nervous feelings aside and concentrate on having fun. Suggest that you both lighten up a bit, and then change the conversation to something lighthearted.

Hopefully, you date follow and you can really get somewhere. If your date doesn’t follow suit? Well, there’s only so much you can do. You’re out there for a good time, not a free therapy session. If quiet clam-boy won’t open his shell, don’t be rudebut do find an excuse to make it an early night. Maybe this is just how he always is or maybe he needs to ease into things and will be better next time the two of you hang out.

Great, you both have your nerves under control and you’re actually talking like normal people. Unfortunately an hour into your date you’ve come to the conclusion that this guy or gal is not just a bit of a jerk, oh no, he or she is a TOTAL jerk. What do you do now?

Which is a bit baffling! He has a job working with small animals and his nieces and nephews think he’s the greatest uncle in the world. But he’s a jerk! Not to you, but to everyone else around like the waitress. His emails were sweet and charming, but his manner to the stranger who bumped into him in line is anything but.

This is one of those things that you can’t possibly predict from online communication. Sadly, the anger that is currently being directed at others could just as easily be directed at you in the future, and that’s a chance that is just too unsafe to take.

This might sound a little harsh but dating a man like that is like buying a puppy when you already know it’s sick. True, they might all have problems at some point but that shouldn’t stop you from shopping around until you find the one who seems healthiest.

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Dating is all about getting to know someone; warts and all. I much prefer that someone shows me their honest imperfections than falsified flawlessness. To that end, there are first impression blunders people make that you should just forget about.

They’re late

People who are always late are annoying and chronic tardiness is definitely grounds for dumping someone. But only after you’ve been dating awhile. Someone who is 20 minutes late for your first date hasn’t proven that his or her lateness is a habit. So give them the benefit of the doubt and put it down to nerves.

Too chatty or too quiet

Someone who talks too much or just not enough on a first date is likely suffering from a severe case of nerves. Most of us reach back to our 6-year-old conversation skills when we’re with someone who makes us nervous. Of course there’s no guarantee that things will improve, but on the first date, take someone’s chatter or lack thereof as a compliment.

Having a nervous first date is par for the course. It can only be hoped that sitting through all that conversational awkwardness wasn’t too awful! Let’s hope his or her charm and attraction managed to peep through enough to merit a second date. It takes some people more than one date to get warmed up, so go ahead and give it another try.

They gap your name

Some people really take this personally and get totally offended when their first date calls them by another name or forgets their name entirely. I just don’t get that. It’s not meant as an insult for crying out loud, it’s just an honest gaffe.

It’s a first date and the point here is that you don’t know each other yet. Maybe your smile reminded her of her friend John and that’s why she called you John. John’s characteristics and name have already been imprinted in her brain, yours hasn’t. Now it’s another thing entirely if she calls you John when you’ve been dating for six months and you’re sharing romantic times! However, a slip up like this on the first date is not only understandable, it’s also totally forgivable.

Getting drunk

Sigh. I’ve been this girl and let me tell you, it’s not worth holding against someone, this whole accidentally-getting-hammered-on-the-first-date thing. I am intelligent and charming and witty and, darn it, I’m not an alcoholic! (Can you tell the guy never called again and I’m a little bitter?) It’s the whole nervous thing again.

I would go so far as to say that most, if not all, common first date missteps are the result of nerves. Sometimes you need a drink to take the edge off. Sometimes you need 5. Shrug. Let it go; if they are the kind of person who will regularly get embarrassingly drunk in public, it won’t take long to figure that out. Might as well not jump to conclusions while you’re figuring it out.

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I’m a huge fan of independence and standing up for what you this is best for you. Making decisions about your life based on what you think is best and not always giving in to your partner is the way to go. Having said that, when you enter a serious relationship, or even marriage, the decisions you make will now have an effect on the other person’s life as well.

Discussing these things with your partner before diving in (or cutting loose, or going crazy, or whatever it is you’re about to do) doesn’t make you weak and co-dependent; it makes you a smart, considerate person who is concerned about the health of their relationship, rather than being completely self-serving.

So to make sure you stay on the smart road in your relationship, read on for six things you should definitely consult your sweetie about before making a decision.

Contraception

Yes, it’s your body, but before you make a decision that will affect your ability to conceive, you should definitely discuss it with your partner. Whether it’s starting or stopping contraception or choosing a more permanent solution like tubal ligation, your partner will has a vested interest that you need to respect.

The Leftovers

Some people seem to keep leftovers until they qualify for scientific experiments. But the minute you chucked it all in the garbage, that’s when they decide they want to finish it. It’s one of life’s mysteries! So play it safe and always ask before throwing out leftovers.

Major purchases

Even if your last name is Rockefeller or Hilton, running your plans for big ticket items like cars, houses and boats past your significant other is just good relationship strategy.

Adopting an animal or a child

Okay, that little puppy you saw at the pet store when you went to buy fish food is cute what with that heart breaking little face and all. I know how tempting that can be. And that last time you were shooting that movie and your partner was looking after the other kids and you saw that orphan that just melted your heart? Also tempting. But resist you must. Adding to your family should only be done with your partner’s okay.

A tattoo

Anywhere on your body that has their name in it. That’s all.

Deleting the Tivo recordings

Just because you think he or she watched the most recent Curb Your Enthusiasm doesn’t mean they actually have. This is a fast track to World War III, my friends.

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Internet dating sites can be very useful. You’re able to explore all kinds of options in a short amount of time in the comfort of your own home. While you browse through the profiles you can pick the ones of interest and learn a few things about the person. All of this before you even decide to initiate a conversation.

There is a downside to internet dating and that’s the extra excitement that all this pre date talking creates. Heightened expectations can be a direct result which in turn can make any disappointment on your first meeting all that much more intense.

At times this disillusionment is caused by one very obvious, yet unexpected, attribute in your date. Though it can be funny, it’s usually just frustrating and sometimes even a bit frightening. Not sure how to handle it when your date turns out to be shorter than you are? Read on!

This happens all the time in the dangerous land of online dating: you see a guy’s profile and he looks really cute. Like, wanna bite his neck and meet his mom kinda cute. After enough back and forth messaging (hey, he can carry on a conversation too! Who knew?) you decide to meet for the big in-person date.

You look hot, you’re all nervous and excited and full of anticipation and then you get there; and he’s shorter than you. Which you didn’t know, nor expect. It’s the movie star thing; they look way taller on-screen, both movie and computer.

Yes, I know it’s a bit of a letdown. It doesn’t seem to matter how modern we women like to say we are, we still want to feel like “girls”. That includes being with a man who looks big and strong in comparison. I’m not saying we’re all like this. I know more than a few women for whom the whole height thing doesn’t matter in the least.

Despite your disappointment you’re going to suck it up, right then and there, and go on this date. No excuses! Don’t be rude. And while you’re recovering from the let-down, think back on what made you decide to go out with him to begin with. Remember all the things you talked about? Remember the things you already know and like about this person? Right, so keep an open mind. You could end up thinking that this guy is absolutely terrific!

I won’t downplay the importance of attraction in a relationship, so if it’s not there, it’s not there. You absolutely shouldn’t feel bad about it. But give it a shot; at the very least, you could end up with a great new friend.

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The Wink

This is one area where I’ve done a complete’0. I used to think it was downright cheesy and used too often by guys who were anything but suave and dashing. Until I saw it done right.

But I’m a convert now! All it took was one really hot guy who flashed me a perfect and seemingly effortless wink with a little half smile. Talk about packing a wallop! Sadly, not too many guys can pull this off without looking stupid, but hey, when it works, it REALLY works!

Get Rid Of The Dirt

Women aren’t asking men to be the picture of perfect grooming every second of the day. However, knowing that you need to clean up for work and family functions, and knowing how, should be required training before men can date. Having said that, we also love you when you’re rugged, sweaty and manly! And much of the difference depends on the occasion.

Similarly, you don’t have to have to most amazing physique either. We would prefer you not hold us to model standards so we’re not going to do that to you either. What does count, however, is being attentive to the little details of personal hygiene. A dude with a forest of nose hair, or dirty, too-long-for-a-dude fingernails is a major turn-off.

Hmmm, Smelling Great

There is such a thing as too much cologne, but a subtle yet unmistakable man smell is, well, irresistible! Some women (myself included), think that the au natural scent is most alluring. It does wonders for my pheromones. If you do decide to give Mother Nature a hand, easy does it. One spritz of your favorite cologne is sufficient, or just pick a great smelling deodorant.

Laughing loud, often and with meaning

Look at the men who are surrounded by women? Notice anything they have in common? Right, they’re full of laughter. If you’re too concerned with looking cool to appreciate a good belly laugh, I hate to break it to you, but you’re lame. When women hang around with guys who let their laughter explode from time to time they’ll likely join in on the fun. Laugher is infectious; they won’t be able to help themselves.

And you know what happens when we laugh don’t you? Our brains produce tons of feel good chemicals. A woman will make an instinctive connection between a guy who can laugh and feeling good. In other words a no fail magnet.

Losing it

While women like a guy who isn’t serious all of the time, we don’t want to see a guy who loses it on a regular basis either. We all have problems that we deal with, life’s stressors that have to be dealt with, but guys, freaking out over every little thing is a total turn off. It indicates a serious lack of maturity. We want to be your girlfriend, not your mother.

This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of helpful dating posts. Visit the Uber Article Directory to get a totally unique version of this article for reprint.

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Granted, internet dating does change the whole first impression scenario a bit; sometimes we’re going out on first dates with people who we’ve been communicating with for weeks or months or even years, in some cases.

Then again, many of us haven’t given up on encountering eligible singles in the real world as opposed to the internet dating world. Truthfully, most of us are doing both. And why not?! Let’s face it, we’re all busy and we all want to maximize our dating potential.

Even though the rules for meeting up for the first date can differ, some things never change. Whereas you can meet person A in location B doesn’t mean you can suggest activity C. Fortunately the one thing hasn’t changed is the importance of a good first impression.

Whether you just bumped into someone at a friend’s kid’s bar mitzvah, are finally doing the in-person thing with that cutie you’ve been emailing with online for a few weeks, or are meeting someone in the professional world who you really want to think the best of you, your tactics are pretty much the same. Read on:

1. Eye contact supreme

The best way to communicate your confidence, honest and more importantly your interest is by making direct and lasting eye contact with your new acquaintance. Locking looks works so much better than fleeting here and there glances.

Should all the eye time leave you a bit bored, play memory games with yourself. Observe their eye color, the shape of their eyes, their eyebrows, their nose etc. You’ll be conveying your interest at the same time that you’re searing their face into your memory.

2. Know when to reign in the excitement

So you’re chatting up some fabulous new person you just ran into and you’re having that old as the hills dilemma of wanting to seem interested without appearing over eager. What to do? Let them set the tone. Wait until they start talking and try to match their energy and excitement level. It’s a great way to make sure you’re not holding the conversation hostage and you can let go of worrying about seeming too detached or too worked up.

3. So close and yet so far

Okay, this one might not apply so well to professional matters; other than a firm handshake at the beginning and end of a meeting, I’d steer clear of their personal space. That said, this is a great little move that I only perfected after a few too many drunken conversations during which I thought I was flirty touching someone on the shoulder or knee but was actually just coming really close to doing so (hey, vodka impairs your ability to judge differences, okay? Let it go).

Turns out, that move got a great response; the person you’re talking to will still receive the same sexually-charged undertone of your action but without the contact, it leaves them wanting more. Guys, this is also a dynamite technique to bring out when you’re flirting with a new female. She will love the electrifying almost-intimacy while probably appreciating that you aren’t being too physically forward.

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Back in the “good” old days, infidelity used to be a pretty easy-to-define beast: if your significant other gets all makey outy with someone else, from just kissing to all-out bedroom romps, it’s cheating. Then we came to the self-aware part of relationship history, where couples starting paying more attention to where they were placing their emotions.

As a result, it also came to be that engaging in a strong emotional or romantic exchange with someone outside of your relationship also constituted cheating. Okay, that’s a little less black and white but we can still work with that. It’s easy enough to understand.

It was easier too, way back when, to determine if a partner was unfaithful. Clues like staying late at work, failing to call when promised, sneaking away to make a phone call and getting caught lying. It wasn’t too difficult to spot a straying spouse and deliver a good, old fashioned, slap in the face!

Now, with technological advances like text messaging, social networks, internet dating sites and email, it’s harder than it used to be to determine with whom, and how, your partner may be “talking” to someone else.

Granted, I’m not a big fan of checking call logs on cell phones and sneaking a peak at each other’s e-mailI’d like to believe that some trust still exists in relationships. But with all these new ways of talking to people, and even means of engaging in whole cyber-relationships, it’s hard not to wonder.

Moreover, in the event that you do uncover evidence of flirty texting or emailing, it begs the question of what is acceptable and what is not. It’s such a grey area that it’s entirely possible that if you confront your significant other with “evidence” they’ll convincingly argue they’re not doing anything wrong.

Talk about it

Face it: Facebook exists, MySpace exists (at least I think it still doesdo people still use that?), and that cell phone is almost always going to be in your honey’s pocket. The arenas might be different but the basics are the same: you have to have trust with the person you’re in a relationship with.

If you start to doubt that trust and you begin worrying about the kind of communication your significant other is having with others, you’re going to have to discuss it. Between the two ofyou you’ll have to decide where the boundary is between acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

The answer will be different for every couple. My opinion on this doesn’t matter because it will change from relationship to relationship. The only thing you need to remember while you’re having this talk is to stay true to what makes you uncomfortable. Don’t compromise your own feelings for the sake of the relationship.

Keep the focus positive and spend less energy focusing on what could go wrong and more energy on the good stuff. Concentrate on making your relationship the best it can be by keeping each other interested and intrigued.

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Here’s a situation that most dating dynamos can relate to; you go out on a first date with a guy, it went great, but then nothing. He said he’d call, but he didn’t. You take solace with your friends who reassure you that you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re left with confusion and frustration and the unanswered question of why. Read on for five reasons why he never called;

1. There was no physical attraction

Though it’s tough to hear, this happens more often than you might think. Before you go out you might think you have lots of common ground, but that won’t compensate for a lack of physical attraction. It doesn’t mean you’re unattractive. It just mean that this one guy dind’t feel the heat. It happens so shrug it off and move on.

2. You talked negatively about an ex

First date conversation is no time to go into an hour long rant about your creepy ex. Save that conversation until he asks and you’ve been dating for awhile. Even then be careful what you say. No guys wants to think that you’ll be talking like that about him in a year’s time.

3. You lied before the date

Attention Internet Daters, this is for you! Ten year old photos on your dating profile just don’t cut it. You’re delusional if you think you still look like that. And if you didn’t inherit millions from your favorite uncle don’t say that you did. Nonsense like that will always get found out and you’ll never hear from him again.

4. You never even offered to pay your share

Contrary to popular opinion, chivalry is not dead. Not completely anyway. Most of the time if a guy asks you out he’s happy to pay the whole shot. Having said that it’s just classy to offer to split the bill. If you want to come across as a gold digger than by all means keep your mouth shut and good luck. But for the rest of us this oversight could cost you a second date.

5. He thought you weren’t interested

You have to be very careful on a first date; you don’t know each other yet. And this means that one of you might be making a move that the other could miss entirely if they aren’t paying attention. If he hasn’t called to go out again, replay the first outing in your minddid he try to hold your hand but then you raised it to hail a cab and forgot? Did he go to put his arm around you right as you ran into an old friend and went to hug them?

If you don’t remember then shame on you, you weren’t paying attention. On the other hand, if he did hol dyour hand and you didn’t feel so much as a tingle, then you probably don’t want another date anyway.

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